Ok. Come in close and listen well, for I am about to share an ancient truth that has fallen out of memory
and into disrespect:
“Happiness is the feeling that occurs when you get what you want.”
I know I know, you think, I am associating happiness with selfishness or that I am forgetting the immortal
and undisputable truths that have been drilled into our society since the sixties.
Imaginary concepts like:
True happiness is an internal concept.
This is why we all exist as disembodied masses of energy.
You can’t find happiness in others.
This is why we all live alone in caves.
You can’t find happiness in things.
This is why the poor are better off.
Service and sacrifice makes you happy.
This is why slavery was abolished because servitude and going without provided an unfair advantage in
the happiness department to slaves and their owners were jealous.
It’s better to give then receive.
Ok, this one is true but only in prison and it would be better to just keep to yourself, if possible.
Getting what you want will not make you truly happy.
Really! Do you really believe that? Let’s test this one out. Take a moment and think back to a time in your
childhood maybe a birthday or Christmas or perhaps a memory from school when the teacher was
choosing kids for something special. Remember how much you wanted whatever it was. Now remember
how you felt when you got it. Wait! Did you think of the time you got it or did you immediately go to a
memory where you didn’t get it?
I understand that there is a lot more to our behavior then can be determined by a first hand shake. I am
also aware that it takes all kinds and to this I say, “Hey, Whatever floats your boat.” but don’t believe that
the apparent differences that exist in the ways we are motivated and pleased are anything more then
training. We are the sum of our genetic make up and life experiences.
Let us even the playing field so to speak and go all the way back to babyhood. I have a handful of
children and have been involved with the care of many more. The picture of a newborn sleeping
peacefully wrapped in a blanket melts the heart of almost any mammal. A child untouched by ideology,
belief, or understanding is a sweet image of man. The baby lying there stares, turns on its side, and then
stretches. It yawns and snuggles the edge of the blanket seemingly in search of something. For a
moment it struggles to locate the target of its desire and then in an almost instant lack of patience in
proportion to its age and size. It cries out. Its cries echo through the room and down the hall and to the
ears of an exhausted and beleaguered mother. She half wakes from an insufficient sleep and stumbles
toward the now bellowing cries. She checks the diaper and then cradles the baby into her arms. It
snuggles and cries some more and then mom feeds the child. At this age there are only a few things that
it could have been. This time it was food. As soon as the nipple hit the lips the crying stopped and the
baby is… Happy.
Getting what you want will not make you truly happy? Come on…It is counter intuitive and against basic
human nature and understanding. Babies are not taught to think of themselves. They just do. That is
how we all start off. Everything else is taught.
Be honest with yourself and admit that it feels better to get what you want; to get it your way; to be right.
You can be an adult about it and realize that you are not going to get it your way often but you need to
remember that getting it your way makes you happy. That way you can continue to try to get it your way
and you will end up in a better position in most things. If later you choose to share, for whatever reason,
then at least it will be your choice and even in that you will be getting it your way which will make you
happy. It might even make someone else happy. Now that is the way to spread happiness; you get your
way and the other guy gets a break. And we can all use a break.
If you loose your connection to reality and your understanding of how things work, in this case happiness,
then you will be severely hampered in your pursuit of success. Success is based on happiness; happiness
is based on getting what you want; what you want is completely subjective and based upon you alone. If
you don’t understand what happiness is, then even if you come up with a list of goals or wants or whatever
it will always be an exercise in hit or miss as you fail to pursue what you want because it seemed selfish or
greedy or just not nice. It’s better to define what you want and pursue it and accept that you’re not going
to get it all. In the end some is better then none and if you don’t try to get some you’ll end up with nothing
and no man needs nothing.
The Lesson to Learn:
We are all being socialized (trained to think in a certain way) to believe in things that just are not true. We
are being conditioned (trained to act a certain way) to respond with appropriate behavior that is just not
natural. This is being done so that we can be controlled. Controlled by our employers, controlled by our
government, control by the groups we are involved with. Sometimes it’s obvious, sometimes it’s subtle,
sometimes it’s malicious, and sometimes it’s portrayed as simply the functioning of an orderly society. But
make no mistake about it, it is still control and when control is being wielded someone is wielding it. You
can believe that the person in control has your best interest in mind or you can wake up and take
responsibility for yourself and make up your own mind.
The Brutal Truth:
You are not always going to be happy but you need to understand what happiness is and how to get it.
That way you will know how to keep it if you get it and how to give it when and if you ever choose to.